Tantalizing Stories by Donnee Patrese

Whenever affairs are involved there is always potential for someone to die. I sat there on my knees staring down at what I had done.  My breathing was heavy and the anger and rage began to dissipate. The anger was replaced with fear as I stared at the blood on my hands. I dropped the knife I was holding and it made a CLANG as it hit the tiled floor. The noise left me shaking. I dared to look around the room. There was blood in every corner and everywhere my eyes landed. There was blood on the counter, on the walls, all over the floor… and all over me. I was frozen. I was confused. I didn’t hear the door open and I faintly heard Jim call for his wife. Suddenly he was in the kitchen. I knew he was screaming and yelling as I stared at him. Yet, everything was muted. The only noise I heard was the sound of their old grandfather clock ringing in the New Year. Holding my hands up so that he could see the blood all over my hands I simply said, “I just wanted to talk, Jim.”

Christmas time at the mall was always crazy and for the past three years I have found myself with all the other crazy people waiting on Santa Claus.  I never like bringing my kids here but my husband insisted they should see Santa and take pictures.  Of course, he was not the one to bring them. That was my job. Now, I stand here in line for hours with my kids just waiting for each one to tell Santa Claus they want something that mommy and daddy can’t afford. The parting gift is a crappy picture that always ends up with my mother in law.  My husband insists that it makes him and the kids happy. That is all that should matter.  There was a problem. Their happiness was the only thing that always seemed to matter around here.  What made me happy was always forgotten.  I spent all day cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids and wishing there was some excitement in my life.  My husband comes home from work and most of the time he is too tired for anything.  Sex has been nonexiste

 is for Zoetic Life. Existing. Sustaining. Zoetic. Zoetic means something that is vital to life, like breathing. Being a mom, I sometimes forget what is vital for my own survival. My dad just told me that I spend so much time taking in everyone else’s hurt and pain that I become depressed and unable to function. I take care of three daughters, a husband, a cat. I worry about my family, friends and anyone else I feel I can help in anyway. I always forget about myself and I need to survive. What is vital in my life to keep me going and running smoothly? I lose touch of myself sometimes. For most of my life I lost touch with myself and what I wanted. I never worried about what I wanted. In the past 5 years, I adopted a child, gave birth to two children, moved across the country away from family and friends, I lost my mother, 3 uncles and an aunt. Sometimes I forget to breathe. I forget to just be in the moment and just take it one step a