C is for...
is for... Completely Overwhelmed
I am a machine.
I wake up in the morning, I fix three separate lunches (two daughters and a husband), I make breakfast, get coffee ready for my husband and I, make sure my 13-year-old gets off to school and make sure my kindergartner is dressed, brushes her teeth and gets off to school. I then come home and fix breakfast for the 2-year-old, get her washed and dressed.
Some days we go to the park or out to play with her friends. Then I go grocery shopping, clean the house, feed the cat, make lunch for my two year old, do a couple loads of laundry (wash fold and put away) pick up the kindergartner from school, get her afternoon snack, prep for dinner, try writing in a blog post or two, write a short story, make dinner, clean up after dinner, talk with husband until he falls asleep about his day and mine. Fight with the kids to make them stay in bed and hopefully to sleep. Then I spend next 3 hours writing.
This all happens from about 6:30 AM to 2 AM the next morning.
That is an easy day.
I am a machine.
Sometimes I feel like a machine but like any machine there comes a time when the machine needs maintenance. There are some days I’m completely overwhelmed.
I have 3 daughters. One daughter tries not to be demanding or want too much so I sometimes feel like I’ll overlook her, the middle child is way too demanding and is on me day-to-day like white on rice. The last kid, the baby in the family, is so stubborn and gets into so much that she can drain the life out of you. (Case in point: In two days she locked herself in the bathroom, shoved a foam letter up her nose and spit yogurt all over me.)
Trying to build my writing and let it lead into a profession has been so difficult to accomplish while staying home with the kids. I often hear questions like, How do you make time to write? How do you do it all?
Honestly, I don’t know.
Some days I’m a machine.
There are other days I just want to scream.
Yet… I don’t.
I don’t scream because I love my family. Yes, it’s hard but I am strong and I can handle it. I would do anything for them. I will sacrifice to make sure they are taking care of.
I find time for my writing and I find time for my family because I love both very much. I love my family and I love to write and to be honest I write not just for myself or for my readers but I also write for my family as well.
So I will go on making breakfast, getting fixing lunches, washing clothes, cleaning rooms, cleaning the house, driving the kids all over the city, doing chores that need to be done, taking care of my husband, taking care of kids and writing to three in the morning because I’m doing what I love to do. Even if on the days that end in “y” I am completely overwhelmed.