J is for...

is for Judgment

I had a friend who couldn’t understand how another friend of mine could be bisexual.
“Doesn’t she realize she is committing the greatest sin?”
My first thought was, I was thought all sense were equal. Then I thought, Who is she to judge? She has had at least 3 abortions which mean she was also fornicating.
I hate to judge people and it really irks me when others look down on people because they live their life in a different way.
I filled that we as humans are all flawed and full of sin. We were made to be imperfect creatures therefore we may not make all the perfect choices in our lives.
The feeling that I am being judged by a large group of people leaves me feeling uneasy and anxious. I never felt the most judged than when I was in church. The way they made me feel was not welcoming and knowing how they feel about people who are not “straight” made me avoid it at all cost.
So, for a while, I stopped attending church. Church did not feel like the house of Jesus Christ like my minister preached to us.  It felt like a house of judgment and I hated to see there and overhear the woman gossiping and discussing others in a negative fashion.
My mother felt the same and she too stopped attending church for awhile.
We didn’t feel that the churches we were attending lived up to the values of Jesus Christ. In the bible and in many reenactments and depictions of Jesus Christ shows him as a giver and lover of all whether they be rich, poor, young old, from any nation and of any race.
“Let thee without sin cast the first stone.”
Yet in my experience people are quick to judge first and ask questions later. They are stoning people on a daily basis while trying to build a fort around their glass houses.
I find that there are so many people willing to talk to me and tell me their life stories because they can sense or they know me well to know that I do not judge people. I let people live their lives in a way that makes them happy. Whether you believe there is a God or not, we were given the right to make our own choices in life.  

No imperfect person should judge another. The world would be a much better place if we all believed and lived by that.


  1. Unfortunately, human nature seems to preclude the possibility of a non-judgmental society. It's some sort of self-destructive instinct, I think. If there were no judgment...would there be conflict at all? Or some sort of idyllic Utopia? Wouldn't it be interesting if we could try it...just for a day?

  2. Hi, Donnee! I'm so sorry you've had that kind of experience with "Christian" people! I hope I can show you another side of that coin. :) Christian, to me, means being Christ-like, and showing His love to everyone we come in contact with. I'm sure I fall short of that goal at times, but it's what I strive for.
    It was wonderful speaking with you at the arts fair on Saturday! I look forward to seeing you again in November.

  3. Donnee, thanks for your thoughtful post.

    I like: "They are stoning people on a daily basis while trying to build a fort around their glass houses." This line struck me, as I find it interesting that those who are quick to judge (and prejudge) are often heavy-duty "sinners" themselves.

    If you are looking for an accepting, inclusive church in Bakersfield, we have a couple that I know of in Bakersfield: The Unitarian Universalist (on the east side) and the First Congregational (on Stockdale and Real Rd.).


  4. I wish people would stop judging others. If people would put themselves in other people's places for a while maybe they could be more accepting. I also have challenges with attending church. I've had the same feelings of being judged, and could not figure out why I tortured myself each week.
    Great post!

  5. Your words ring in my ears and grace my heart. I don't rejoice in the short-comings of religious institutions, but I am wary of them. I, too, felt the hypocrisy of "good church people" even as a child. Jesus preached love, God is Love. Love is the answer. Naive? Perhaps,yet simple and to the point, too--and reassuring.


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