Threesomes and the Married Couple: Is it wise to engage?

Because I am an erotic/erotic romance writer I have so many people, who would not have prior to my books or short stories, asking me questions about quite a few sexual matters.

Recently I had a friend of mine ask me about Threesomes. 

She wanted to know was it wise to have a threesome when you are married.  We wondered could it break up her marriage.

Writing erotica does not make me an expert on sex and relationships yet I do have a few opinions on the matter.

First things first: If you have to wonder if it will break up your marriage, then I do not think you are ready to have a threesome. 

I acknowledge that the decision to have a third party come into your marriage in a sexual capacity is not a decision to be made lightly.

Though we love to succumb to our sexual fantasies as much as we possibly can, we know that the most important thing to us is our marriage and our family.  We would never engage in anything that would jeopardize that. 

In the beginning of my marriage, it would never have been successful.  I was still at a point where I was still insecure with myself and could not have fathomed my husband sleeping with another woman and not somehow wanting to leave me or cheat on me with her.

No matter what my husband said or how hard he tried to reassure me it would never happen, I was not convinced.  He didn’t push. We just used the fantasy to add more fuel to our own flames. 

Eventually, my want to explore my bisexuality made me a little more receptive to the idea. But we knew that if we were going to explore this particular fantasy, we needed to come up with some ground rules.

I think having rules is very important. There need to be rules and boundaries that the husband and the wife agree to and stick to as well. 

I believe there should be rules set out in advance to help each partner feel more secure.  They do not have to be extremely strict rules, yet they have to be rules that each partner can honestly adhere to. These rules should depend on the couple. 

When it is done with both parties’ secure and following rules that were set forth, it can be an exhilarating experience. In my case it might have been more exhilarating for me than for him.

When we finally decided to do it, I think I had more fun in the end.  He was so hell bent on making sure I had a good time I am not sure he even thought about himself.  It was all about me and I loved it! I was so engaged in eating pussy and having my pussy eaten by my husband.  I was so wrapped up in my own pleasure I forgot about him.  So, I sort of broke a rule. He didn’t mind though.  He was just so happy that I was happy. 

Will we do it again…maybe. Next time though, I promise not to be so selfish.