From the Short Story Anthology

Insomnia

What happenes when you can't sleep.

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Red Eye

 

 

She kept staring at me and I tried to pretend that I don’t notice. I was just going to continue to pretend the way I had been pretending not to notice her subtle advances all night and all weekend.

We have been playing this game for a while now.  Since the day I started working here, I have been trying to stay the good girl. I had been trying to pretend that when she licked her lips or stood with those short skirts at the printer, it did not turn me on or make me so wet.

We sat in the airport waiting on our red eye flight. We were the “flight team”. We were hired to fly around and act as liaisons for the company. It required us to fly to one place and be back at the office the next morning sometimes.

It was fine with me.  I always had trouble sleeping anyway.  I was happy to do something useful with my insomnia.

I have had insomnia for years now.

However, sitting here with Candice was not helping much.  She continued to flirt with me just like she had been flirting with me all weekend.  This was nothing new.  She flirted with me whenever she got a chance.

It’s just this weekend she has been acting extra aggressive.

I knew she was a lesbian when I first took this job.  I was fascinated by that fact. Where I come from you don’t see many homosexuals or no one ever really came out about it.

It brought back a lot of dormant thoughts I have had for a long time about women. It didn’t help that she was beautiful. She was white with pale skin and jet black hair.  Her eyes were brown and she always liked to stay tan. When I first met her I thought she might be flirting with me.  I was trying not to assume because she was a lesbian she hit on every woman.

However, she made sure that we were partners and she was always at my desk with short skirts…and sometimes no panties.

I was not sure if anyone else knew she didn’t wear any panties.  I would watch her everyday hoping to get glimpses of her pussy.  This would then lead to me going home feeling ashamed and upset. I would stay up all night wondering what her pussy tasted like.

I tried in vain after that to get a new partner. I was not successful and was stuck working and flying around the country with my fantasy.

This night we had a 3am flight and I was struggling while she slept on my shoulder.  She looked so beautiful and a part of me was wondering why I was passing up such the opportunity to fuck such a beautiful woman.

I cannot have these thoughts about a woman.  I was raised that homosexuality in any form was a sin and that even thoughts about it would send me to hell and I would be punished with eternal damnation all my life.

It struck the fear of God into me.

Since I was a young girl, I was frightened that my sexual feelings were going to shame my family and send me to hell. I had always been a very sexual girl. When I was 5 years old I was interested in boys. My parents never knew that I looked at boys that way at the young age of 5.  I had my first kiss of a boy in kindergarten and by the time I was in the 2^nd grade I was sticking my tongue down boys’ throats.  I just had to have a taste.

It didn’t stop there.

When I was in middle school, I would let little boys finger me on the bus.  Then when I realized how good that felt, I began masturbating like a mad woman.

I always told myself that I was a good girl if I kept my virginity.  As long as I stayed a virgin I felt that I was not letting my parents down.

So I pursued sexual activities that didn’t involve sexual intercourse.

Not long after that I realized I was fascinated by the female body.  It seemed that when I masturbated I would see myself with other women.  In my regular life however I was still pursuing my sexual encounters with boys.  Where I came from there were no outward lesbians or girls that had fun with other girls. Black girls in my neighborhood didn’t admit those things and if you talked about giving head to a boy you were labeled a slut.

I tried my best to hold my indiscretions.  I didn’t want to be labeled as a “HO”. So I cut back on dick sucking for a while with boys in my school.

When I was in the 8^th grade I was introduced to the internet and I became hooked chatting with older men and older women having cyber sex every chance that I got.  Afterward I would feel so dirty and ashamed.

That is when my insomnia started.

I found it hard to sleep knowing the things that I was doing. Every Sunday in church I would sit there with my head down knowing that my family tried to save me but I was going to hell and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

It didn’t help much that the sermon was coming from my father and sometimes from my brother. They were Baptist pastors in my church and they believed that women who had any form of sex before marriage were damned to hell with the other sinners. Especially homosexuals, there was a special place in hell for them. I lay awake every night wondering what they would think of me if they found out what I was doing.

In high school I would stay up at night because of the guilt and I would just constantly add to it by watching late night movies that included sexual scenes. I particularly liked watching the lesbian scenes.

I had always wanted to make love to a woman but I have denied it my whole life. I didn’t think that I was gay because I still wanted a nice hard cock inside of me every chance that I got. Yet, I was still having fantasies of sucking on a woman’s clit and making her cum in my mouth.

I met my husband at church and he is an amazing man.  He reminded me of my father.  He is tall with dark skin and very religious.  My father and my older brother were happy that I was dating such a God-fearing man.  They thought he was perfect for me.  Being both ministers themselves they were elated that he would be the man to take care of their daughter/sister.

I knew that I cared for him and that I loved him but, there was something missing. He wasn’t as sexually explorative as I was. But for a God-fearing man, he did have a sex drive that kept me going. He wanted it all the time every night after we were married. He was excited that his wife was a virgin and he was the only man that had touched her body. I neglected to tell him of all the dicks that I had sucked that got me to that point.

I neglected to tell him that my senior year in high school I kissed a girl classmate for the first time and I really liked it.  I also neglected to tell him that I fantasized about having an orgy with a group of women. I fantasized about just lying there with a woman sitting on my face and another woman eating my juicy pussy.

I was thinking about all this waiting on my flight trying to hold it together. I felt her rustle and squirm.

She sat up from my shoulder and looked at me.

“What time is it?”

I looked at my watch and then back at her.

“It’s 1:56.” I said.

She stretched out her arms and placed her head back on my shoulder.  I was happy that she still wanted to lay on me.  I didn’t want her to know that I liked having her warmth on me. Suddenly I felt her hand on my arm and she began to caress me.

“You know,” she said continuing to stroke my arm. “We have plenty of time before our flight.”

I knew this, but I was wondering why she felt the urge to mention how much time we had.  I just knew that my pussy was getting wetter the longer she stroked my arm.  I knew that I needed to get away from her before I let myself do something that I should not do.

“Yes, I think I need to go to the restroom before our flight. You know how much I hate peeing on a plane.”

She laughed.

“You’re right. I think that I will go with you.”

I sighed. She was thwarting my plan to get away from her.  I needed my time alone so that I could think and cool off. I grabbed my carry-on bag and headed to the restroom. She followed flipping her bag over her shoulder.

When we got to the bathroom I headed for the last stall as I always do in any public restroom.  I am not sure why I always choose the last stall but that was just how it happened.  I really didn’t have to pee, but I pretended by pulling down my panties.

I guess the door didn’t lock very well because before I could sit down on the toilet the door flung open and almost hit me in the face. I was too shocked to say anything and Candice pushed in closing the door behind her.

“Candice! What are you doing-?”

She grabbed me and I almost fell back onto the toilet.  I tried to move away from her, but she pinned against the wall.  Before I could think, she was kissing me. Her tongue was in my mouth searching for mine.  She tasted like bubblegum and I was finding it hard to resist.  I let my tongue find hers and we kissed.

My pants were still down and she took advantage of that by letting her fingers find my pussy. I gasped when she found my wetness. This brought me out of my stupor and I tried to push her off me.

“Wait, we cannot do this!” I exclaimed.

She smiled and tried to kiss me again.

“Stop!” I shrieked.

I was starting to freak out.

She sighed placing her hands on her hips.

“Erin, why are you pretending that you don’t want this as much as I do?”

I was at a loss for words for a second. Apart of my brain was telling me to shut up and just fuck her already. Yet, I was consumed by fear and guilt and I wasn’t sure what to do. She took my silence as an opening and dropped to her knees.

I felt her tongue on my pussy and I melted. My pants dropped to my ankles and I parted my legs to give her better access.  I leaned against the stall wall while this beautiful creature devoured my pussy and that is what it felt like. It felt as if she was surviving off my pussy.  It felt so good and I could feel my orgasm building.  I grabbed her head and stroked her hair while she ate me.

She didn’t let up. I could feel her hand caress my ass while she ate me.  I bit my tongue and tried not to moan. After all we were still in a public place and that was the last thing I needed was to get caught in the stall fucking a woman.

My orgasm was close and I grabbed a handful of her hair trying to hold on with all I had.  The sound of her slurping and sucking finally sent me over the edge and every measure that I used to stay quiet in there suddenly failed and I let out a loud moan as I came in her mouth spilling my juices down her chin.

She stood reaching behind her and grabbed some toilet paper to wipe her face.

She smiled.

“I knew you wanted it. Baby you don’t know how long I have waited to do that. I have wanted to taste your pussy for a year now and I must say it was worth the wait.”

I just stood there trying not to let it sink in what I just did. My mind was still cloudy and I was still driven to fuck up even more.

I grabbed her and placed my mouth on hers. She was shocked at first then she began to kiss me back.  She wrapped her arms around my waist and I placed a hand on either side of her face and kissed her hungrily.

I pulled back and looked at her.

“I want to taste you.”

My voice sounded so far away and it didn’t sound like my own. It felt like a dream. This could not be my reality.

She didn’t hesitate. I think she was afraid that I would change my mind or she was just as horny as I was. She pulled down her pants and slipped out of her heels. She pulled one leg out. She rested her foot on the toilet.

I then noticed she wasn’t wearing panties.

I just stared at it for a moment. Her pussy was glistening. It was wet and waiting for some action. She placed two fingers inside of her juicy hole. She pulled them out and they were soaked. She smiled.

I just continued to watch her.  She placed her two wet fingers in my face.

“I thought you might want a sample before you dig right in.”

I stared at her fingers and then I opened my mouth and welcomed them inside my warm opening. I licked her fingers and was amazed at how good her juices tasted.  It only added fuel to my fire and I immediately dropped to my knees.  I stuck out my tongue and let it lead me over to her pussy.  Once my tongue made contact it was like I turned into another person. I just licked and sucked on her delicious pussy.

I was eating her as if I had not been fed in weeks. It was something that I had wanted to do my whole life and I was trying not to let in any thoughts of guilt into my brain. I just wanted to make her come and I wanted to make her come bad.

She was moaning softly and that made me confident. I felt like I knew how to please her and I just continued to lick her pussy and use my tongue to play with her clit. It was so good and I didn’t want to ever stop. If I could just stay in this bathroom and eat her pussy I would be content.

Finally I felt her body jerk and she grabbed my head forcing my face further into her pussy. I had her juices up my nose and I didn’t care.  Her cum flowed out of her hole and I hungrily lapped it up. After her orgasm subsided I was still down there lapping at her. Finally I stood and reached for some toilet paper behind her.

I exited the bathroom without a word and made my way back over to our seats. The reality of what I just did was sinking in and I just wanted to cry.  I held back the tears as she sat down next to me.  She looked over at me and I turned my head.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

I ignored her question.  We sat in the airport without talking and when we boarded we sat next to each other not talking. She eventually fell asleep and rested her head on my shoulder. I of course could not sleep.  I was thinking about the fact that I had just cheated on my husband with a woman. I had just confirmed my place in hell for killing two birds with one stone.

What would my family think when I also had to get a divorce?

For weeks after, my encounter with her played in my mind over and over again. My insomnia became worse.  I would never sleep. I could not bear to dream. Whenever I closed my eyes all I could see was her pussy and my tongue pleasing her.  It drove me insane.

I eventually quit my job.  I could not work there anymore.  I felt I needed to make up for all the sins that I had committed and focus on my husband and my kids. My husband so was happy and said he knew that I would come around. He felt that my place was home with the kids and that we would be blessed for honoring God’s wishes.

I wasn’t so sure how blessed I would be but it made me feel slightly better that I was making him happy. Maybe that would earn me some favor with God.

Though at night I would still see her and want her.  When I made love to my husband, I would imagine making love to her and then I would come hard. He thought he was just so magnificent in bed. I would never tell him that I was imagining fucking a woman.

Eventually it became too much.  I spent so much time in the bathroom and in the shower hiding my lust for her.  I masturbated every free moment thinking of her and how good she tasted.  I was dying to taste her again.

One morning, I could not take it anymore.  I knew the company had the day off for a government holiday but neither my husband nor the kids were off.  I was at home alone and I intended to remedy that.  I showered and dressed and made my way over to her house. I knew where she lived because I dropped her off at home once.

When I reached her apartment I got up all the courage that I had and knocked on her door.  She didn’t answer and I turned to leave thinking it was for the best. Maybe God was trying to stop me. Then halfway to my car I heard my name.

I turned and saw her standing there. She motioned for me to come over and I turned and walked over to her.

“What’s up?” She asked.

I didn’t know how to say what I wanted to say.  How do you say that you can’t get the taste of her pussy out of your head? That you wanted to make love to her even though you knew it was a sin.

She smiled and grabbed my hand leading me into her apartment.  When I entered there was another woman sitting on the couch. She was Hispanic and seemed to be a little older than Candice and I.

“Cat, this is Erin, the woman I was telling you about.”

The woman stood from the couch and walked over to me. She extended her hand.

“I’m Catalina. It’s nice to meet you Erin.”

I grabbed her hand and shook it. She didn’t let my hand go however.  She led me over to the couch and motioned for me to have a seat.  I sat down and each lady joined me on either side. They didn’t say a word. Candice began to kiss me on my neck and the other woman began to caress my breasts through my clothes.

I wanted to protest at first. My old pain and fears were trying to push through the surface. I quickly dismissed it and just enjoyed the pleasure I was feeling.  It seemed that my fantasy was about to come true and since I was going to hell anyway…